Halloween, Scotty, and Life!

Well, Halloween has come and gone.  This year we actually went trick or treating!  We decided that we would take the kids to Meridian Mall in Okemos for open trick or treat from 4-6.  Scotty was Darth Vader.  He loves Star Wars.  It was the only costume in the entire Halloween store we went to that he wanted.  He wouldn't wear his mask though.  Silly kid.  Here he is having a snack before all the fun starts!

 Here is our little bumble bee!  Isn't he adorable?  We got so many "awws!!" in the mall it was funny.  He was really good and was defiantly a big hit for trick or treating.  

We were concerned about going out this year because of the way Scott has been acting lately with his fits and so forth. He actually didn't want to go, but once we got him in the car and he got there he did so good.  He waited his turn in line and was very nice to everyone.  It was so much fun.  We were only there for a half hour, but at least he finally got to experience trick or treating.  I loved Halloween as a kid. We went trick or treating for hours and my mom and dad usually decorated the house.  I remember one year, my dad made a dummy out of newspapers and dressed it in his pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. He put a mask on it and put it in a chair on our porch, then he dressed the same way and sat next to the dummy.  Every kid that came on our porch got scared to death by my dad jumping out at them!  It was so funny and one of my best Halloween memories as a kid. 

Today I had a meeting with Scotty's teachers, counselors, and therapists at his school about his autism testing that will be taking place on January 17.  They all were very clear that they all agree he has some form of the spectrum, we just need to do the screen to continue to having funding and for him to qualify for special education courses.  It's amazing the amount of paperwork schools have to do to have a child in special education courses.  There is certain funding they get from the state for such things, all the resources they use and all the therapy they offer all have to go through a state mandated structured agenda. I had no idea it was this involved!  After his evaluation, his therapy and schooling will be more tailored to what he needs and he will have more individual therapy than he does now.  They also gave me more resources about home counseling for him that I still have to look into, however it isn't free and we will have to pay what our insurance doesn't pay, if it even covers it.  I still have to look into it all.  It's kind of overwhelming to think of everything that goes along with getting him the help he needs.  We are so busy and lead such unstructured lives that I'm wondering how we are going to fit all this in.  With my crazy work schedule, the new baby, Adam's every growing pile of artwork and jobs he has, not to mention his regular job we are hardly both home at the same time.  It's crazy here.   Sometimes I wonder how we will do it all, but I know in my heart we will manage.  We always do somehow!

Nothing much going on.  Now that I'm back to work life is busy busy busy!  Just working, taking care of my babies, and occasionally having time for myself.  I have been on a new anxiety medication so the anxiety attacks have been less frequent now, which is nice.  Once in a while I will have a mild one, but nothing near what they used to be.  Another great thing about my new medication is that it curbs my apatite so I have lost 23 pounds since being on the pills!  It's only been a few weeks, but I really have no desire to eat anything. I have to force myself to eat and when I do eat, I get filled up super quick.  I feel great though after losing ta ht weight.  I wanted to lose weight again anyway, so this is defiantly helping me out!  I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since I got pregnant and did the elliptical for a half hour.  I did well considering I havent' worked out in 10 months.  I am going to make it a goal to go at least four times a week. I think I can do it!  I want to lose 25 more pounds by the new year.  That gives me a couple months. Hopefully I will make it!!  

Any who, that is all for now! 

It's Been a Long Time. A VERY Personal Blog.

I’m emotional today, well almost everyday lately.  So, I’ve decided to write.  That’s what I do when I’m stressed. I'm going back to trying to blog again.  So, here's what is going on.  This is not an upbeat blog...it's a serious one but a necessary one.  

Many of you don’t know a lot about me.  Many of you aren’t my super close friends, and actually, I haven’t really talked to my really close friends about it except one.  My son Scott, my 4 year old, is eventually being tested (hopefully soon) for autism.  We are almost 100% sure he has a form of it.  Autism is such a wide spectrum of issues these days.  We initially thought it was just some sort of sensory disorder, but he is changing.  My son is cognitively there.  He listens and understands when you tell him to do something.  He knows what things are and is beginning to notice things more and more, like ducks.  He loves to feed them lately and notices them now when they are outside.  He is learning more and more speech and does new things every day.  But, his emotional and behavioral issues are what clued us into what was going on.  He is obsessed over weird things or objects, gets fixated on one thing for hours or even days, babbles instead of talks most of the time, is super sensitive to light, sounds, touch, and is super finicky with food.  He only eats a few things.  If something gets cold, he won’t eat it.  If something has a weird appearance he wont eat it.  He touches all food to his lips before he eats it.  He has rituals.  He throws fits for no reason and is super hard to calm down when he gets in those moods.  He is super active. He is in his own world.  I took him to the Meridian Mall today.  He loves to play there.  It has become more and more apparent to me how withdrawn from social interaction he is.  There was this boy there, probably 3 or 4 who was completely “normal” that wanted to play with Scott.  He was the only other boy there his age and he really wanted to make a friend.  But, Scott had no interest in him.  It was like he didn’t see him.  He didn’t even acknowledge him.  The little boy kept coming up to me asking why Scott didn’t want to play.  That was hard.  How do you explain to a “normal” boy that my son has no interest in such things?  The boy kept running behind him hoping he would start to play with him.  Scott just plays on his own.  He would rather play alone than with people of his own age.  These are all signs and symptoms of autism.  Textbook, actually.  There is no denying it.  We tried to deny it for a year.  We kept thinking it would go away, but it hasn’t.  

There is no way any mother that has a normal child can understand what it is like to not be able to communicate with your child.  I cannot have a conversation with Scott.  I can say little things to him and he understands what I’m saying, but as far as talking about what he did in school, or what he wants to do for the day are things that cannot happen right now.  I cannot make crafts with my son.  I cannot enjoy a board game with him.  I cannot read to him because he won’t sit still that long.  I cannot cuddle him because he is super sensitive to touch sometimes.  I cannot make a nice dinner and have him eat it because he will not try anything new.

 It’s a whole new world.  It’s a challenging world and lately, it’s really wearing me down.  I’m depressed.  I have no friends here.  I have no one that I can call and talk to or go out with to get away from it all just for a few hours.  I keep it all bottled up inside.  I have actually considered getting counseling for it.  I just need some form of release and someone to listen to me.  It’s hard to talk to my husband about it because he feels guilty.  Autism runs in his family.  Three men in his family are autistic.  One is his brother who is total non-functioning autistic.  He feels guilty.  He thinks it’s his fault.  But really, there is no way to tell how he has it or why.  Adams son Cody is perfectly fine.  I thought genetics can play into it, however my son's pediatrician told me that there is no strong evidence that genetics are a solid reason that a child has autism because many people have autistic children that have no autism in their family.  It could be anything.  It could be development in the womb, environmental factors, the foods and drinks we consume.  Anything can be a factor.  There is no way at this point to pinpoint what causes autism.  That field of study is growing, however nothing concrete has been found.  No matter how many times I can tell Adam it isn’t his fault, I know he will always feel that way.  It tears me up.   I don’t blame him.  I love him.  We knew that it could be a possibility if we had kids but we wanted a family.  I have no regrets.  It’s just going to be more of a challenge than we thought it would be.  I love Scott.  I love the joy he has brought to my life.  I want the best for him.  Now, we have a new baby.  There is always that fear that he will have it as well.  It’s scary. 

I also just wish people understood how hard it was.  People stare when he babbles the way he does, or when he has his fits.  They look at you and judge you.  They don’t understand.  Sometimes I just want to scream at them but they don’t know.  They will never understand unless they have been there.  I wish it was an easy fix but I know it is going to take time and a lot of therapy.  Scott has been in special education classes for over a year now and he will be there for a while.  I know that with early intervention Scott can lead a somewhat normal life.  I’m praying that he keeps getting better and learns to deal with his disability.  It’s a learning experience for us too.  We have to learn and grow with him.  That is our duty as parents of a special child.  I’m scared.  No, I’m terrified.  There is no way to know what this life is going to be like.  Will he have a normal life?  Will he ever go to college?  Can he live on his own?  Will he ever have a family?

Most people don’t have to worry about such things for their children.  I think about my brother in law.  He has been in a home since he was a young child.  I can’t image that for my son.  I hope that he will grow and flourish with the help he will get.  I hope I can be strong.  I hope I can be there and be active in his therapy.  With how much I work, it’s going to be difficult.  I just hope I can do and be everything everyone expects me to be.  I’m scared…..so scared. 

80's Movies? Don't Mind If I Do!

I was thinking yesterday about how many cool 80's movies there are.  You may not know this, but I LOVE 80's movies.  I love movies in general, however the 80's has that charm, and sometimes is corny enough to just be good!  

So, here is a list of some of my favorites!

1. The Wraith

You may not know about this one.  It is extremely rare.  You probably can find it online only, maybe on Amazon or Ebay.  I really like this movie.  It's plot is pretty simple.  It starts out with a murder of a guy by a gang of hoodlems because one of them likes his girl I believe.  The character that was killed was somehow reincarnated as an alien with a badass car that he uses to kill all his killers.  It's pretty wild.  He kills all the jerks who killed him and hurt his girl and in wild ways.  I don't want to give too much away, but try to check it out.   It's fun and you never really get bored during it.  

2.  Back to the Future Part I

I love Back to the Future Part I.  I think it's just a great plot and the humor that Dr. Emmet Brown brings to the movie is outstanding.  It never gets old!  While there is some cheese factor to this movie, that's why I love it.  The others are good as well, but the first one will always be the best in my book.

3.  Garbage Pail Kids

Yup.  Have you seen this movie?  It's fricken nuts!  It's way up there on the cheese factor and pretty disgusting, however as a kid I loved watching this movie.  Pretty good makeup and effects for its time, and overall I think it is worth at least one watch if you haven't seen it.  It's over the top and pretty disturbing but fun none the less.

4.  Dirty Dancing-Original

I LOVE this movie.  The plot is great, Partrck Swazye was amazing and it is the love story that many girls still gush over to this day. This movie never gets old.  I haven't seen the remake, and frankly I don't think I ever will.  I just like the story about the "bad boy" and the "good girl" fall in love despite everyone's objections and criticisms.  The dancing is fun and of course, who wouldn't want to see Partick Swayze without his shirt off?  Well, probably most men!  This one is a chick flick, love it!

5. The Shining


I love Stephen King, always have.  I love his books, so of course I own almost every movie he has ever made.  The Shining to me is a great story because it really taps into how someones environment, good or bad, can make or break you.  If you haven't seen it...what's wrong with you?  Ha.  Get it.  It's worth owning and will not disappoint.  If you are not a Stephen King fan, you might not understand why so many of us love it though.  His sick imagination and his writing style is unique.  He is the master of scare to me.  Jack Nicholson is amazing and of course can do any scary role to perfection...I mean, just look at him!  It's directed by Stanley Kubrick.  I heard that Stephen King was actually not too happy with the way Kubrick portrayed his novel in parts of the movie.  I don't know if that is true but if it is, I wonder what Stephen King wasn't happy with?  I think it's brilliant.  

6.  Creepshow


Yet another Stephen King classic!  This movie actually consists of five short stories based on short stories he had written.  This is the original version from 1982, not the later movie that came out in 2006 that I believe was titled "Creepshow 3".  That one was okay, but I like the 80's versions much better.  There is a "Creepshow 2" that is worth watching and has some great stories in it, however the first is always my favorite.  They are all great stories, and in one Stephen King actually stars in.  He tends to put himself in a lot of his movies, but that's his right.  He in a way is so interesting that he can virtually plan any role he writes.  He plays in the story called "The Death of Jordy Verrill.  Great role for him.  My favorite short in this film is "Father's Day" because it has the scare factor that I like.  My least favorite is "They're Creeping Up On You".  That one is very hard for me to sit through.  I won't give it away, but if you hate cockroaches, this one might have to be skipped by you as well!

7. Batman

It's Batman!  Great movie. It's badass for it's time and I think one of the best comic-based films yet to be made. If you haven't seen the original from 1987, see it!  Nuff said!

There are so many more greats but there's a start to my list.  Keep checking back for more to come.  Also to come, there are many 80's movies that I have never seen.  I don't know why but keep checking back for the list so you guys can tell me how crazy I am for not seeing these classics!

 

New Parents and Expectant Parents: 10 Things You May Not Know or Have Forgotten

I have been thinking a lot about parenting, probably because I myself am due in September.  I know about twelve other people who are also due around then, many to be new parents.  So, I thought I'd write a little blog about the ten things that you may have forgotten as an experienced parent, and little things to give you advice on if you will to new parents.  Enjoy!

10-Yes, That Can Come Out of Your Baby!

"Really!  It's green!",  "How can that much come out of such a small person?",  "Are they sick?",  "Wow...um, how do I handle this?"

All of these questions I asked many times when I saw what was in my son's diaper.  I think the most surprising thing for new parents, and a reminder for the experienced ones is the amazing mess that a little person can make.  New parents, it will be interesting. You will see things that you never have imagined can come out of a baby!  The smell will sometimes make you want to barf.  It's okay!  Just find a way to cope.  My husband had discovered that if he wiped a baby wipe under his nose before he changed a mess then it would help block out the smell of the really bad ones.  Me, I just dealt with it.  But, if you are queasy it's okay.  It will make you a faster diaper changer at least!

9-Sometimes, Things Fall Off.

Yup, one day your baby will lose the little part of its umbilical cord that is left after birth.  It will turn a yucky black and one day, will just fall off.  This doesn't hurt your baby.  While it does look gross and will probably take you by surprise, it's completely normal.  Some parents may choose to save this little souvenir, us however were just glad to be rid of it.  You choose.  

8-Be Prepared....For No Sleep.

I think most people know already that taking care of a newborn will be difficult.  But, what many new parents don't realize is that sleep is going to be a rarity for at least the first three months of you baby's life.  Mine got up every two hours to eat, poo, and then pass out again.  It's hard.  You think to yourself, how can this little person be eating so much!  There were many nights I would get up and feed my son and before I knew it I was waking up with my son asleep in my lap because I had passed out while feeding him.  You will be a zombie.  My advice:  deal with it, don't gripe to your spouse, sleep when the baby sleeps, and make sure that during the first three months of this hard time you make time for yourself in some way.  Go see a movie, get a pedicure, go out with friends, or do whatever you enjoy, and relax.  Let your spouse do this as well.  Just that little bit of freedom if only for an hour or two will help your sanity and help you deal with the lack of sleep.

7- You Will Get Barfed On...A Lot!

Babies spit up.  I knew this as a first time parent, however I was amazed...no shocked at just how much my baby spit up.  It seemed like every time he ate, I was wearing barf on some part of me.  Most of the time, the shoulder of my shirt, however there were some wonderful times where I ended up getting spit up on in my face, my hair, and all over the front of me.  It's amazing.  Projectile spit up is never fun.  It may be scary for a new parent, I know it freaked me out.  If you think it is too much, you may need to change formula or burp your baby better. However, it is completely normal for spit up to occur.  Be prepared to change shirts about ten minutes after you get dressed.  Invest heavily in burp rags and bibs.  I think I went through about thirty burp rags in about six months.  It's a foul smelling thing too, especially if you bottle feed.  So, be prepared for that. 

6-Your Needs Will Never Be Met First Again.

It's true.  It's not really a complaint on my part, but for many people this is a challenging thing.  The reality of the fact that you or your spouse is not the most important person in someones life anymore can be a challenge for new parents.  My husband kind of struggled with this at first.  He knew that once the baby was born, he was first priority in everything.  His needs, all of them, were second to what the baby needed.  It's not being mean, it's the reality of having a new baby in your life.  You wan to be sure that you are doing everything you can to make that baby happy and keep it happy.  To make sure that the baby is safe, fed, burped, clothed, sleeping well, eating properly, feeling right, ect.  Your world for the first three to six months will be that little person you two created.  It will get easier as time goes on, but don't be shocked if you feel a little ignored. 

5-You Will Need to Baby-Proof Everything...Yes, EVERYTHING.

Babies are very curious creatures.  If it can fit in their mouth, it will go in there.  Even cat toys can be a hazard.  I remember my son found a little cat ball on the floor at one point and of course, the first thing he did....in the mouth it went!  I freaked!  I would have never thought a cat toy would be appealing, but that's also what I thought about the nickel he ate too.  Yup, beware of loose change.  Keep it high up or in a jar, because somehow change ends up on the floor and my little guy ended up tasting a nickel.  He pooped it out, but for about twenty-four hours, I was freaking out.  Nothing is off limits to babies, they are crazy people who think everything is a meal! My advice:  if you think there is even a minute chance that your baby will eat, bump into, fall over, choke on, or be hurt by, get rid of it or hide it for now. 

4-Planning is Everything.

With a new baby, there is a lot to consider.  Diapers, change of clothes, bottle, snack, toys, ect.  My point: plan everything.  It takes twice the time to get ready to do ANYTHING with a new baby. There is so much stuff that you have to carry with the baby and so many things to do before you even leave the house that if you don't plan and get started early, you will be late. My advice: get a second diaper bag with plenty of diapers and wipes and leave that in your car. That way, you will have a back up in case you really running late.  Just that one thing helped us out when we were in a rush to leave, and it's one less thing you have to haul out with you every time you leave your house.

3-Babies Are Stubborn.

If your baby doesn't want to do something....like sleep, don't be surprised.  Sometimes all of you baby's needs can be met but for some reason he or she will not sleep.  Instead, they will cry.  A lot.  This can happen for no reason at all.  Don't panic.  We had a few nights like that and at first we thought something was terribly wrong with our little guy, however he was fine...he just wanted to be fussy.  Sometimes babies just do that.  It can be frustrating and scary because you feel so helpless to stop you baby from crying.  Sometimes a car ride helps, or rocking, but other times, you just have to ride it out.  It can be hard.  Sometimes you get so stressed and feel so overwhelmed you feel angry.  At that point, just put the baby down and walk away.  You don't need to hold him or her all the time.  Feeling stressed and getting annoyed with your baby will not help it.  Take a five minute break, then go back to consoling him or her.  It will end, just be patient!

2-Pets: They Will Either Love the Baby, or Hate It.

My cats were pretty shocked to find this new person in their territory.  We had four cats at the time Scott was born, and only one of the cats, Milo, was curious and took to Scott.  The other three, then and still even now, three years later, want nothing to do with him.  It's just depending on the pet.  I know a lot of people who have dogs or cats where the pet is so curious and loves the baby so much that they don't leave the baby's side.  That is so cute and the ideal situation, however, if you find that your pets don't take to your baby, it's really not a big deal.  They will cope.  If for some reason they get aggressive towards baby that is not good, so in that case you may have to figure something out.  But, in most cases if the pets you have don't show any interest in baby but aren't going to hurt him or her, it's just that they really don't want anything to do with it.  Pets, like children, are finicky.  They will either love something or hate it.  It's okay.  Your pet will be fine, they just have to realize that this new person is here to stay and to cope with it.  And they will, in time.

1-Be Aware:  Your Heart Will Turn to Mush.

I think the most interesting experience that I have had as a parent is what a sap I have turned into.  Really.  I remember a time when I despised the idea of having a child.  HATED children.  Of course that was when I was younger and didn't have my husband in my life yet, however I never thought I would be a parent.  Well, now I cannot imagine my life without my child.  You will find this to be true as well.  Even if you don't consciously realize it, your heart is turning to mush every time you look at your baby.  You will remember every little cute thing you baby does, all the first times of everything, and you will be amazed at just how many pictures you will take.  It's okay to be this way.  There are so many parents out there that experience this change.  Some don't realize it, some do.  For the person who was dead against having kids, this change in me really shocked me.  I felt like I was so evil for having those thoughts before.  Don't feel that way.  You cannot and will never know what it feels like to be a parent until you experience it for yourself.  It's so magical.  It is the most rewarding experience in many peoples lives. 

So, enjoy your time with your baby.  They grow up so quick.  Take tons of photos, spend time with him or her, make time.  If you are a working parent, but especially a working mother be prepared to feel somewhat guilty about being at work.  It is the hardest thing I have done.  Every time I leave the house I feel terrible I cannot be there with my baby.  It's something that you have to learn to cope with if you have to work. 

My advice: make friends with other working mothers to exchange feeling and advice, spend quality time with your baby when you are home, don't punish yourself when you have to work, and most importantly, always know that no matter what, your baby will love you unconditionally when they see you.  You will see that glimmer of happiness every time you walk in the door after work.  That makes everything worth while.

I hope this was enlightening and fun to read. Have fun being parents!

How In the Heck Do You NOT Kill Fish!?!

Well, FISH struggles in the Talley household.  We were so excited (my hubby more than myself) about getting a cool fish tank with awesome decorations and some sweet fish.  We have had it for about a week now.  The first few days the fish were good!  Then, yesterday something started going wrong.  The black moore goldfish we got has clouded eyes and white fungus on it. So, my hubby went to the pet store and at first he was told he had ick!  So, he went and got him treatment for that and nothing.  Then he went to another pet store and they said it was fungus.  So we got more treatment and put that in the tank.  I think the fish is going to live...who knows. It's eyes are still clouded over and the white fungus looking stuff is still there, but he's acting somewhat normal.  

So, somewhat happy that we may have saved his life I decided to play video games and I look over at the tank and one of the other fish, who was completely fine by the way, is DEAD!!  What the hell is going on here?  We have changed the water, did the treatments, haven't overfed them, and they are dropping like flies it seems.  Who would have known having a fricken fish tank would be so much trouble?  We just want some damn fish to look at and watch swim, ya know? They are so temper mental, even goldfish!  If the PH is too high, they get stressed.  If there are too many fish in the tank, they get stressed.  If the ammonia in the tank is too high, they get stressed.  If the water is too cold or too warm, stressed.  If the fish around them swim too fast...you guessed it, they get stressed!  GEESH!! Really?  They are more temper mental than a baby!  I just wanted to watch fish swim!  OMG. I guess we bit off more than we can chew!  So, we have one dead fish, one fish with some fungus going on, and three fish who seem they will be okay, but will most likely die too! 

Oh and we got a water frog.  He was cool, was debating on a name, but yeah, he kinda disappeared.  I don't know where the damn thing went!  I am guessing he somehow jumped out of the tank and one of my lovely cats ate it...but who knows!  Stupid frog.  You wanted freedom...well, now you are cat food!  Bah!  

So yeah, any suggestions?  We are just taking one day at a time with these dumb fish.  We don't want to name them yet because who knows if they are going to live!  One things for sure, no more water frogs.  Stupid thing, I'm still mad about that.  Stupid frog committed suicide! 

Ok, I'm Trying This Again!

Well, my first attempt at a blog failed terribly.  Somehow everything I wrote got erased and I cannot get access to my old account!

This blog is meant to be a lot of things I guess.  I want to talk about a wide variety of subjects such as parenting, traveling, movies, music, jewelry, and anything else I may choose to write or rant about.  

This is a way for me to find something to do.   I don't know how many people are going to read it, but for me I don't care about that.  This is a way to express myself and find something new to do.  So, if I stay at it then I guess there will be a lot to read!  

I have many thoughts right now but they are all kinda jumbled at the moment.  It's been a long day.  

My first blog will be:  How the heck do you NOT kill fish!?!  Yup, struggles in the Talley family with keeping fish alive...stay tuned!

But, damn, it's midnight and I'm tired.  At least I got this damn thing back up and running but now I'm going to bed!  Peace!