I have been thinking a lot about parenting, probably because I myself am due in September. I know about twelve other people who are also due around then, many to be new parents. So, I thought I'd write a little blog about the ten things that you may have forgotten as an experienced parent, and little things to give you advice on if you will to new parents. Enjoy!
10-Yes, That Can Come Out of Your Baby!
"Really! It's green!", "How can that much come out of such a small person?", "Are they sick?", "Wow...um, how do I handle this?"
All of these questions I asked many times when I saw what was in my son's diaper. I think the most surprising thing for new parents, and a reminder for the experienced ones is the amazing mess that a little person can make. New parents, it will be interesting. You will see things that you never have imagined can come out of a baby! The smell will sometimes make you want to barf. It's okay! Just find a way to cope. My husband had discovered that if he wiped a baby wipe under his nose before he changed a mess then it would help block out the smell of the really bad ones. Me, I just dealt with it. But, if you are queasy it's okay. It will make you a faster diaper changer at least!
9-Sometimes, Things Fall Off.
Yup, one day your baby will lose the little part of its umbilical cord that is left after birth. It will turn a yucky black and one day, will just fall off. This doesn't hurt your baby. While it does look gross and will probably take you by surprise, it's completely normal. Some parents may choose to save this little souvenir, us however were just glad to be rid of it. You choose.
8-Be Prepared....For No Sleep.
I think most people know already that taking care of a newborn will be difficult. But, what many new parents don't realize is that sleep is going to be a rarity for at least the first three months of you baby's life. Mine got up every two hours to eat, poo, and then pass out again. It's hard. You think to yourself, how can this little person be eating so much! There were many nights I would get up and feed my son and before I knew it I was waking up with my son asleep in my lap because I had passed out while feeding him. You will be a zombie. My advice: deal with it, don't gripe to your spouse, sleep when the baby sleeps, and make sure that during the first three months of this hard time you make time for yourself in some way. Go see a movie, get a pedicure, go out with friends, or do whatever you enjoy, and relax. Let your spouse do this as well. Just that little bit of freedom if only for an hour or two will help your sanity and help you deal with the lack of sleep.
7- You Will Get Barfed On...A Lot!
Babies spit up. I knew this as a first time parent, however I was amazed...no shocked at just how much my baby spit up. It seemed like every time he ate, I was wearing barf on some part of me. Most of the time, the shoulder of my shirt, however there were some wonderful times where I ended up getting spit up on in my face, my hair, and all over the front of me. It's amazing. Projectile spit up is never fun. It may be scary for a new parent, I know it freaked me out. If you think it is too much, you may need to change formula or burp your baby better. However, it is completely normal for spit up to occur. Be prepared to change shirts about ten minutes after you get dressed. Invest heavily in burp rags and bibs. I think I went through about thirty burp rags in about six months. It's a foul smelling thing too, especially if you bottle feed. So, be prepared for that.
6-Your Needs Will Never Be Met First Again.
It's true. It's not really a complaint on my part, but for many people this is a challenging thing. The reality of the fact that you or your spouse is not the most important person in someones life anymore can be a challenge for new parents. My husband kind of struggled with this at first. He knew that once the baby was born, he was first priority in everything. His needs, all of them, were second to what the baby needed. It's not being mean, it's the reality of having a new baby in your life. You wan to be sure that you are doing everything you can to make that baby happy and keep it happy. To make sure that the baby is safe, fed, burped, clothed, sleeping well, eating properly, feeling right, ect. Your world for the first three to six months will be that little person you two created. It will get easier as time goes on, but don't be shocked if you feel a little ignored.
5-You Will Need to Baby-Proof Everything...Yes, EVERYTHING.
Babies are very curious creatures. If it can fit in their mouth, it will go in there. Even cat toys can be a hazard. I remember my son found a little cat ball on the floor at one point and of course, the first thing he did....in the mouth it went! I freaked! I would have never thought a cat toy would be appealing, but that's also what I thought about the nickel he ate too. Yup, beware of loose change. Keep it high up or in a jar, because somehow change ends up on the floor and my little guy ended up tasting a nickel. He pooped it out, but for about twenty-four hours, I was freaking out. Nothing is off limits to babies, they are crazy people who think everything is a meal! My advice: if you think there is even a minute chance that your baby will eat, bump into, fall over, choke on, or be hurt by, get rid of it or hide it for now.
4-Planning is Everything.
With a new baby, there is a lot to consider. Diapers, change of clothes, bottle, snack, toys, ect. My point: plan everything. It takes twice the time to get ready to do ANYTHING with a new baby. There is so much stuff that you have to carry with the baby and so many things to do before you even leave the house that if you don't plan and get started early, you will be late. My advice: get a second diaper bag with plenty of diapers and wipes and leave that in your car. That way, you will have a back up in case you really running late. Just that one thing helped us out when we were in a rush to leave, and it's one less thing you have to haul out with you every time you leave your house.
3-Babies Are Stubborn.
If your baby doesn't want to do something....like sleep, don't be surprised. Sometimes all of you baby's needs can be met but for some reason he or she will not sleep. Instead, they will cry. A lot. This can happen for no reason at all. Don't panic. We had a few nights like that and at first we thought something was terribly wrong with our little guy, however he was fine...he just wanted to be fussy. Sometimes babies just do that. It can be frustrating and scary because you feel so helpless to stop you baby from crying. Sometimes a car ride helps, or rocking, but other times, you just have to ride it out. It can be hard. Sometimes you get so stressed and feel so overwhelmed you feel angry. At that point, just put the baby down and walk away. You don't need to hold him or her all the time. Feeling stressed and getting annoyed with your baby will not help it. Take a five minute break, then go back to consoling him or her. It will end, just be patient!
2-Pets: They Will Either Love the Baby, or Hate It.
My cats were pretty shocked to find this new person in their territory. We had four cats at the time Scott was born, and only one of the cats, Milo, was curious and took to Scott. The other three, then and still even now, three years later, want nothing to do with him. It's just depending on the pet. I know a lot of people who have dogs or cats where the pet is so curious and loves the baby so much that they don't leave the baby's side. That is so cute and the ideal situation, however, if you find that your pets don't take to your baby, it's really not a big deal. They will cope. If for some reason they get aggressive towards baby that is not good, so in that case you may have to figure something out. But, in most cases if the pets you have don't show any interest in baby but aren't going to hurt him or her, it's just that they really don't want anything to do with it. Pets, like children, are finicky. They will either love something or hate it. It's okay. Your pet will be fine, they just have to realize that this new person is here to stay and to cope with it. And they will, in time.
1-Be Aware: Your Heart Will Turn to Mush.
I think the most interesting experience that I have had as a parent is what a sap I have turned into. Really. I remember a time when I despised the idea of having a child. HATED children. Of course that was when I was younger and didn't have my husband in my life yet, however I never thought I would be a parent. Well, now I cannot imagine my life without my child. You will find this to be true as well. Even if you don't consciously realize it, your heart is turning to mush every time you look at your baby. You will remember every little cute thing you baby does, all the first times of everything, and you will be amazed at just how many pictures you will take. It's okay to be this way. There are so many parents out there that experience this change. Some don't realize it, some do. For the person who was dead against having kids, this change in me really shocked me. I felt like I was so evil for having those thoughts before. Don't feel that way. You cannot and will never know what it feels like to be a parent until you experience it for yourself. It's so magical. It is the most rewarding experience in many peoples lives.
So, enjoy your time with your baby. They grow up so quick. Take tons of photos, spend time with him or her, make time. If you are a working parent, but especially a working mother be prepared to feel somewhat guilty about being at work. It is the hardest thing I have done. Every time I leave the house I feel terrible I cannot be there with my baby. It's something that you have to learn to cope with if you have to work.
My advice: make friends with other working mothers to exchange feeling and advice, spend quality time with your baby when you are home, don't punish yourself when you have to work, and most importantly, always know that no matter what, your baby will love you unconditionally when they see you. You will see that glimmer of happiness every time you walk in the door after work. That makes everything worth while.
I hope this was enlightening and fun to read. Have fun being parents!
