Wednesday, March 13, 2013

TIME TO STEP IT UP, AND MAKE IT HAPPEN.

I need to do this.  I have been considering it for a while now, and I just have to do it.  It's about me writing....getting my feelings out.  My frustrations, successes, anxiety, anger, happiness, and courage.  It's about dieting.  Not just dieting I guess, more a lifestyle change for the better.  I decided to do a blog about it because I like to talk about it frankly.  I keeps me motivated.  It keeps me thinking about the next step and what I want for myself.  And, since I don't have a work out buddy, I think this will be a great way to keep me motivated and on track.  If you hate hearing about it, then don't read my blog! 

So, here it is.  I guess I'll start with my situation.  Most of you who read this are friends, mostly acquaintances.  We see each other occasionally, but sometimes months and months go by before we come face to face.  For those of you that don't see me at all, let me just explain my situation. 

I'm FAT.  Yup, I said it! Besides a stint in college where I was starving myself for the love of boyfriends, I have never been skinny.  I starved myself to 130 pounds in college.  I had tons of health problems because of it.  Not to mention hair loss, which I never really got back.  And, well, obviously that doesn't work because I'm big again!  I weigh 230 pounds (was 240 13 days ago, so I've lost 10 pounds already!).  I am "supposed" to weigh about 150 for my height and body frame.  That is my goal.  Short term, I want to be down to 200 in about 4 months.   I have been dieting over and over again.  I just had a baby six months ago, so I'm looking at this as a fresh start for me.  By my doctor's standards, I'm MORBIDLY OBESE.

I guess I never really think about it like that though.  I don't see myself as morbidly obese.  I have no health issues.  No high blood pressure, no diabetes, no sore achy bones and muscles, no vitamin deficiencies, ect.  I'm very active.  I have a job where I'm constantly on my feet and moving, stocking, lifting, ect.  I don't wear huge clothes. I wear an XL shirt and a size 14 pants.  To some of you, I guess those measurements are considered huge.  Lol.  But, for me, they are quite small.  See, when I was a kid, all through childhood I was overweight.  By the time I was in seventh grade I weighed close to 200 pounds.  In high school, well, I had ballooned up to about 320 pounds.  I remember my senior year.  That sucked!  I was just starting to realize I was big I guess when I had to wear MEN'S jeans because I couldn't find anything in the women's department that fit me.  I had no neck.  Seriously.  I wore a size 3XL shirt.  Mostly men's again.  I was huge then.  I think of that as being huge.  I guess that's why now, it's hard for me to think of myself as being obese.  But the reality is, I was then.....I still am.  This time though, I'm actually quite fit for my size.  I do 4-6 miles every day on the elliptical when I work out.  It had been quite sporadic the workout time though.  That's what I am getting better at now.  Routine.  I have developed a routine over the past few weeks of working out.  I go to the gym.  I love the environment there.   I don't find gym's scary at all.  I find them motivating!  I love watching all the "skinny" people work out, and sometimes, I'm working harder and faster than they are and I'm kicking ass!  It's very fun for me and somewhat addicting! 

This is what I did today at the gym:

This first one is just my warm up.  I did a little walk on an incline of 10-14.  Incline kicks ass! 
This one is the main workout.  I did 6.35 miles and burned 779 calories on the elliptical.  See, I may be fat, but damn I can put in a great workout!  That was all in only 70 minutes.  Not too shabby!  














I love the look of those.  On top of all this working out, I have mostly switched to a veggie/fruit diet.  I'm also incorporating nuts and seeds as well.  I'm just drinking water.  Very little meat, and if I do eat meat, it will be lean turkey or chicken.  I have been doing Loseit!  I love that app.  It is a calorie/activity log that is very helpful.  You can set up a fitness plan based on how many pounds a week you want to lose.  You can add friends there too.  It's a nice little society for dieting.  Check it out!

This is a lifestyle change.  It is a habitual change.  It will be a journey.  I'm not going to lie, it's going to be emotional.  You are going to hear a lot about me.  Some of you have never heard it.  Some of you have heard it several times.  Like I said, if you don't like it, don't read it.  But, this is for me.  It's my journal in a way.  This is going to be a journey to a better me.  I'm healthy now, but I'm going to be healthier.  I'm going to log every day.  Even if I don't make it to the gym, I'll be on here talking about what I ate, what is going on in my head, ect.   

I invite all of you who have a goal in mind to blog with me as well.  It doesn't have to be as much as a weight loss as me.  It could be ten pounds.  I don't care.  Talk to me.  Leave comments and voice your frustrations too. This can be a community thing as much as a "me" thing.  If you feel alone and need someone to talk to about keeping motivated, join me.  Come along with me on this ride.  It's going to be a crazy roller coaster.  Full of twists and turns, probably some reversing along the way.  Full of fear and adrenaline and excitement.  But, we will reach the end eventually.  It will be awesome.  So, if you are going to keep reading... see you tomorrow!

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